After uploading my draft edit of the opening sequence i achieved a disappointing grade of a D+
The feedback below is what I will continue to work on over the next week to achieve a higher grade.
· Not exported as HD
· First pan is jerky and slightly out of focus
· Titles need a lot of work – font style follows no conventions, there are too few, think about transitions/ size/ colour etc. Final title of the name of the movie is much better
· Girl coming in and out of water shots – why does she come in and out? The meaning is not clear here
· 39 seconds shot is unsteady
· Girl’s approach to train lines is a little too fast – put in slow mo as well as the hand on shoulder shots
· CU of her hand on his shoulder needed
· Why jump cut at 1.10? Not appropriate –stay with previous shot
· Jump cut again at 1.19
· 1.39 why is she standing still then starting to walk? It looks like she is waiting for the camera to start walking
· Jumpy reverse zoom as she walks towards the camera
· 1.54 too much light in the camera – needs deeper contrast
· Too much walking in the woods – narrative not really clear and too many long shots
· Seems too much like a trailer to put the title at the end of the sequence
· Too long – need to cut about 40 seconds
